Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Why is football for gays?

Well the answer is simple. Football turned gay a long time back its homosexual roots can be found "out of the closet" when Paul Gascoigne cried to a soundtrack of ‘Nessun Dorma’ during the 1990 World Cup semi-final (a true gay). The game has gone through a makeover that the ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ team would be proud of. As the hooligans, riots and crumbling terraces disappeared, a polite stampede of new fans arrived at modern stadiums to cheer on cosmopolitan teams full of continental players whose cultural and lifestyle tastes were a far cry from the ‘beer, birds and pies’ stereotypes of English football. Football was once the flabby couch potato of sport, scratching its large, hairy behind. Now it is the lithe young buck, admiring its own pert ass in the mirror.

So what about the old die hard fans? The big butch hairy tattooed pint swilling nutter that breaks faces when his teams doing terrible? Yes hes as gay as the rest i am afraid. All that repressed anger that rage its born out of pure frustration as he watches 22 waxed well groomed stylish young boys get semi physical with each other. Of course this king of football homosexual would never admit to being gay. But they are the type that would come out with lines like "I'm not a puff but I'd give him one up the arse but I'm no bender."

Match of the day is basically a substitute for when episodes of Will and grace are not on or more than one football gay is about in which case there is a primal urge to chant and sing to there teams songs which are more often than not a "gay anthem".

So Proof that football is for gays.